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[Muhammad Gad]

اقتباس المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة Sama elberashy جزاكم الله خير يا باشمهندس بعد اذنك هحط letter عشان ده الجزء اللى بذاكره حاليا you recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job.you think he should get job. in your letter say : why he shouldn't enjoy going to college explain why getting a job is a good idea for him suggest types of job that would be suitable for him Dear Ahmed, It's pleasure to hear from you.we haven't been in touch recently. You have written to me asking if it's better to get a job or to join a college and here is my response. I totally recommend getting a job before going to college because it will add a new experience to you also it will make it easy to join any college you want in the future. If you try to study at the moment you will find that it's time consuming for individual like you have a lot of duties. On top of it all,the fees of joining a college are usually high and it's hard to be afforded according to your circumstances. Anyway, my advice to you is to try to find a job even if it is a temporary and not a profession. I suggest that you would apply for Elborg laboratories as they need medical laboratory technicians and I think you will satisfied with this position as you used to love microbiology and chemistry. I hope see you soon. Best regards. Sama

Dear Ahmed,

It's (is a)(do not you apostrophe) pleasure to hear from you.(remove) (as) we haven't been in touch recently. You have written to me asking if it's better to get a job or to joina college and here is my response.(you do not have to rewrite the question because it is logical that he knows what he said to you in his letter, instead, you can state the question’s given opinion by saying, for example, I would like to inform you that my opinion is that you ought to start looking for a job)

I totally (highly) recommend getting a job before going to college because it (this) will (not only) add a new experience to you (but will) also it will (remove)make it easy (easier) (for you) to join any college you want in the future. (any paragraph should be consisted of at least 2 sentences)

If you try to study at the moment(,) you will find that it's (it will consume a lot of your time and will negatively affect the fulfillment of your many duties ) time consuming for individual like you have a lot of duties. On top of it all (Moreover),the (tuition) fees of joining a college (remove) are usually high and it's (will be hardly afforded in circumstances like yours) hard to be afforded according to your circumstances.

Anyway, my advice to you is (that you should try to) to try to find a job (you have told him already! There is no need for repeating this) even if it is (would be) a temporary and not a profession (full-time)(one) .I suggest that you would (remove) apply for Elborg laboratories as they need medical laboratory technicians. (Furthermore,)and (remove) I think (that)you will (be) satisfied with this position as you used to love microbiology and chemistry.

I hope (to) see you soon. (Or, I look forward to seeing you in the near future)

Best regards. (,)(This is an informal letter, you have to use “ Best wishes,” )

Sama

The three bullet points have not been discussed in the same order of the question and in different lengths. Paragraphing needs to be improved.

There are too many mistakes pertaining to grammar and word choice.

The approximate scores can be as follows:

TR 6
CC 5-6
LR 5-6
GRA 5

Overall 5.5