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[Mohamed Essmat]

الصحف المصرية والعربية

Writing task 1 (a letter)

Write a letter to your manger to nominate a person for best employee of the year award. Explain in your letter

– Who is this person?
– Why did you choose him/her?
– What are the characteristics of a good employee?

Dear sir ;

I am writing this letter to recommend our colleague Islam Khalid as a best employee of the year. He is so outgoing and sociable person, as he has a unique relationship with us and a friendly attitude with patients. Islam has been working in our clinic since 2012. So, I can see how is he a hardworking and punctual person. He has never been late and he always works more than our clinic's hours.

I think we should make him a symbol for other colleagues to encourage them to be so reliable like him. He also has a good reputation on his work. I have never heard that there is a patient make a complaint on him.

So, in my opinion, any hardworking, reliable,sociable and punctual worker should has more encouragement from us. In addition to that, we should give him more promotion to let him has his stimulus experience.

Yours sincerely,
Mohamed Essmat

 

 

[Muhammad Gad]

اقتباس المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة Mohamed Essmat Writing task 1 (a letter) Write a letter to your manger to nominate a person for best employee of the year award. Explain in your letter – Who is this person? – Why did you choose him/her? – What are the characteristics of a good employee? Dear sir ; I am writing this letter to recommend our colleague Islam Khalid as a best employee of the year. He is so outgoing and sociable person, as he has a unique relationship with us and a friendly attitude with patients. Islam has been working in our clinic since 2012. So, I can see how is he a hardworking and punctual person. He has never been late and he always works more than our clinic's hours. I think we should make him a symbol for other colleagues to encourage them to be so reliable like him. He also has a good reputation on his work. I have never heard that there is a patient make a complaint on him. So, in my opinion, any hardworking, reliable,sociable and punctual worker should has more encouragement from us. In addition to that, we should give him more promotion to let him has his stimulus experience. Yours sincerely, Mohamed Essmat

Dear sir ; (a comma should be used) (Dear Mr. First name, because this is a semi-formal letter)

(when writing informal and some semi-formal letters, it is recommended to start by “I hope this letter finds you in good spirits”).

I am writing this letter (remove) to recommend our colleague Islam Khalid as (for) a (the) best employee of the year (prize). He is (a) so (very) outgoing and sociable person, (remove) as he has a unique relationship with us and a friendly attitude with (the) patients. Islam has been working in our clinic since 2012. So, (and ,obviously,) I can see how is he a hardworking and (a) punctual person. He has never been late and he always works more than our clinic's hours.(volunteers to work over time when it is urgently needed.)

I think we should make him a symbol (introduce him as a role model- the word symbol means a material object representing something) for (all) other colleagues (because this will definitely) to (remove) encourage them to be so (very) reliable like him. He also (In addition, he) has (earned) a good reputation on his work. (and) I have (had) never heard that there is (was) a(any) patients’ make a (remove) complaints on (about) him.

So (Finally), in my opinion, any hardworking, reliable, sociable and punctual worker should has more encouragement from us (be honored and encouraged). In addition to that (remove), we should give him more promotion (promote him) to let him has his stimulus (gain more intensive managerial) experience. (This sentence has no clear relation with any of the three bullet points)

Yours sincerely (Kind regards- because this is a semi-formal letter),
Mohamed Essmat (remove- you have to write your first name only in semi-formal letters)


The three bullet points should be equally discussed (as possible) and in three distinguished paragraphs. The first point has not been sufficiently developed. You should tell more about “who is this person” by, for example, explaining his current and previous positions. Also, each point should not be discussed in more than one paragraph.
You have to think of more strong evidence to support your ideas. The words (outgoing, sociable, friendly) are not suitable for describing an employee and do not proof his efficiency.
You have to revise grammar and learn more about vocabulary and word choice.
Finally, the approximate scores can be as follows:
TR 6
CC 6-5
LR 5-6
GRA 5
Overall 5.5
Good luck!

 

 

[H O N E S T]

موضوع رائع جدا و فعلا كلنا محتاجينه
و ان شاء الله هكتب كل الجمل اللى كنت بستخدمها على اعتبار انى جبت 7.5 فى الريتنج فى 3 محاولات من ضمن 6 محاولات لزيادة السكور
انا كنت مصورها و منزلها قبل كده بس الخط مش كويس و ممكن يكون فيه غلطات سهو فلما افضى هكتبها فى ملف وورد و انزلها هنا ان شاء الله
بالتوفيق للجميع

 

 

[pharmacistttt]

You have recently moved to a different house . write a letter to your English friend .
In your letter :

- explain why you have moved .
- describe your new house .
- invite your friend to come and visit .




Dear Leyla ,

I hope this letter finds you and your family well and I'm sorry I haven't been in touch recently . I'm writing to let you know that I have moved to a new house .


As you probably remember, my old flat was a bit small for my big family . as all of my three kids had to sleep together in one bed . you can imagine how annoying that was .additionally , the furniture was of a very poor condition , so I got so fed up with that flat . Ahmed and I searched for a new house till we found our dream one .

I have to tell you I'm so happy with this place . as it's much bigger with two floors . so every kid got to have his own room . there is also a room that is suitable to be their play room . in addition , the garden outside is an extra benefit for me because, as you know , I really wanted to grow some vegetables at home. well , I can do it now .

Anyway, why don't you come round and have a look this Saturday . we will be home the whole day so we can all have lunch or perhaps , if the weather is good , we can have a barbeque out in the garden and our kids can play together for a while ?

Give me a ring and let me know ,

With love ,
Fatima

 

 

[Muhammad Gad]

اقتباس المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة H O N E S T موضوع رائع جدا و فعلا كلنا محتاجينه و ان شاء الله هكتب كل الجمل اللى كنت بستخدمها على اعتبار انى جبت 7.5 فى الريتنج فى 3 محاولات من ضمن 6 محاولات لزيادة السكور انا كنت مصورها و منزلها قبل كده بس الخط مش كويس و ممكن يكون فيه غلطات سهو فلما افضى هكتبها فى ملف وورد و انزلها هنا ان شاء الله بالتوفيق للجميع

الله يبارك فيك يا دكتور .. وجودك معانا هنا مهم جدااااا نظرا لخبراتك الكبيرة وعاوزين تعليقاتك في التصحيح كمان..
انا عارف انك مشغول دلوقتي.. ربنا يقويك ويوفقك دايما ويفرحك بقبول طلبك في اسرع وقت وبال PR ان شاء الله..
تحياتي

 

 

[Mohamed Essmat]

اقتباس المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة Muhammad Gad Dear sir ; (a comma should be used) (Dear Mr. First name, because this is a semi-formal letter) (when writing informal and some semi-formal letters, it is recommended to start by “I hope this letter finds you in good spirits”). I am writing this letter (remove) to recommend our colleague Islam Khalid as (for) a (the) best employee of the year (prize). He is (a) so (very) outgoing and sociable person, (remove) as he has a unique relationship with us and a friendly attitude with (the) patients. Islam has been working in our clinic since 2012. So, (and ,obviously,) I can see how is he a hardworking and (a) punctual person. He has never been late and he always works more than our clinic's hours.(volunteers to work over time when it is urgently needed.) I think we should make him a symbol (introduce him as a role model- the word symbol means a material object representing something) for (all) other colleagues (because this will definitely) to (remove) encourage them to be so (very) reliable like him. He also (In addition, he) has (earned) a good reputation on his work. (and) I have (had) never heard that there is (was) a(any) patients’ make a (remove) complaints on (about) him. So (Finally), in my opinion, any hardworking, reliable, sociable and punctual worker should has more encouragement from us (be honored and encouraged). In addition to that (remove), we should give him more promotion (promote him) to let him has his stimulus (gain more intensive managerial) experience. (This sentence has no clear relation with any of the three bullet points) Yours sincerely (Kind regards- because this is a semi-formal letter), Mohamed Essmat (remove- you have to write your first name only in semi-formal letters) The three bullet points should be equally discussed (as possible) and in three distinguished paragraphs. The first point has not been sufficiently developed. You should tell more about “who is this person” by, for example, explaining his current and previous positions. Also, each point should not be discussed in more than one paragraph. You have to think of more strong evidence to support your ideas. The words (outgoing, sociable, friendly) are not suitable for describing an employee and do not proof his efficiency. You have to revise grammar and learn more about vocabulary and word choice. Finally, the approximate scores can be as follows: TR 6 CC 6-5 LR 5-6 GRA 5 Overall 5.5 Good luck!

جزاك الله خيرا علي تصحيحك ومساعدتك ليا، دي كانت اول محاولة كتابة letter وعملتها تحت ضغط الوقت علشان اعرف هحل ازاي، انا بس كنت عايز اعرف هو احنا السكور الكويس للهجرة كام، لاني شايف ناس بتقول انها دخلت 6 مرات علشان تحسن الاسكور؟ تاني حاجة ممكن ترشحلي كتاب يساعدني في ال letter writing
posted via mobile device

 

 

[Muhammad Gad]

اقتباس المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة Mohamed Essmat جزاك الله خيرا علي تصحيحك ومساعدتك ليا، دي كانت اول محاولة كتابة letter وعملتها تحت ضغط الوقت علشان اعرف هحل ازاي، انا بس كنت عايز اعرف هو احنا السكور الكويس للهجرة كام، لاني شايف ناس بتقول انها دخلت 6 مرات علشان تحسن الاسكور؟ تاني حاجة ممكن ترشحلي كتاب يساعدني في ال letter writing posted via mobile device

ربنا يبارك فيك.. نزل الكورس ده وهو كافي ومختصر وفيه المفيد كله .. ذاكره كله بجدية وان شاء الله مستواك هايرفع جامد لان لو دي اول تجربة فباذن الله هايكون في تحسن شامل بعد المذاكرة..
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0Bwp...1NSTJPU28/view
الاسكور المطلوب بيختلف من شخص لشخص وحسب سنه وتخصصه هل هو مطلوب في الترشيحات ولا لا ..
ممكن حضرتك تراجع اقسام الهجرة هتعرف كل حاجة احتراما لتبويب المواضيع..
موفق باذن الله

 

 

[Muhammad Gad]

اقتباس المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة pharmacistttt You have recently moved to a different house . write a letter to your English friend . In your letter : - explain why you have moved . - describe your new house . - invite your friend to come and visit . Dear Leyla , I hope this letter finds you and your family well and I'm sorry I haven't been in touch recently . I'm writing to let you know that I have moved to a new house . As you probably remember, my old flat was a bit small for my big family . as all of my three kids had to sleep together in one bed . you can imagine how annoying that was .additionally , the furniture was of a very poor condition , so I got so fed up with that flat . Ahmed and I searched for a new house till we found our dream one . I have to tell you I'm so happy with this place . as it's much bigger with two floors . so every kid got to have his own room . there is also a room that is suitable to be their play room . in addition , the garden outside is an extra benefit for me because, as you know , I really wanted to grow some vegetables at home. well , I can do it now . Anyway, why don't you come round and have a look this Saturday . we will be home the whole day so we can all have lunch or perhaps , if the weather is good , we can have a barbeque out in the garden and our kids can play together for a while ? Give me a ring and let me know , With love , Fatima

Dear Leyla,
I hope this letter finds you and your family well and I'm sorry I haven't been in touch recently. I'm writing to let you know that I have moved to a new house.

As you probably remember, my old flat was a bit small (too cramped) for (to fit) my big family. as (where) all of my three kids had to sleep together in (only) one bed. (Undoubtedly,) you can imagine how annoying (and stressful) that was. additionally (Moreover), the furniture was of a very poor condition, so (and, consequently,) I got so fed up with that flat. (Finally,) Ahmed and I searched for a new house till we found our dream one.

I have to tell you (that) I'm so happy with this place. (remove) as it's (it is) much bigger (and) with two floors. so(Thus,) every kid got to have (has eventually got) his own room. (Moreover,) there is also (remove) a room that is suitable to be their play room (playroom). In addition, the garden outside (outside garden) is an extra benefit for me because, as you know, I really wanted to grow some vegetables at home. well (Hopefully), I can (will be able) do it(this from) now (on).

Anyway, why don't you come round (to our house) and have a look this Saturday. We will be home the whole day, so, we can all have lunch (together)(.)or perhaps (Furthermore), if the weather is good , we can have a barbeque (barbecue) out in the garden and our kids can play together for a while ? (.)

Give me a ring and let me know (when to expect you.)
With love, (Best wishes)
Fatima

Word count: 256
This is too much for a letter as you are required to write only 150 words! (Did you write this task in 20 minutes?!)
There are no prizes for quantity, only quality. The time you spent writing the extra 100 words would be much better spent either planning your letter or checking and improving its quality. Therefore, you should not surpass the word limit as possible.
There are too many mistakes pertaining to grammar and punctuation and they are negatively affecting the overall communication.
Try to be more accurate with capital letters.
Learn more vocabulary.
You have to learn how to connect your sentences and ideas using techniques such as pronoun referencing and signposts. That will surely help to increase the cohesion’s and the TR’s marks.
Finally, the approximate scores can be as follows:
TR 6
CC 5-6
LR 5-6
GRA 5
Overall 5.5
Good luck!

 

 

[Muhammad Gad]

ده Letter كنت كاتبه وصححته مع IELTS-BLOG قولت اشارككم بيه وبالتعليقات عليه بما ان اكتر من حد هنا كانوا باعتين Letters ..

Last month you had a holiday overseas where you stayed with some friends.
They have just sent you some photos of your holiday.
Write a letter to your friends. In your letter
-thank them for the photos and for the holiday.
-explain why you did not write earlier.
-invite them to come and stay with you.

Dear friends,
I am glad to inform you that I have just received our vacation’s photo album you sent me.


Honestly, I want to express my sincere gratitude to you for arranging such a wonderful trip and for your interest in sending me its spectacular photographs. Truly, it was the utmost enjoyable one ever (trip ever- unclear referencing), that happened not only because it was our first time together (move) to travel abroad (together) for tourism, but also due to the innovative efforts you made in organizing it.


I would ask you to accept my apologies for not contacting you directly after I arrived, as I was moving out of the city. That was because I have got a new job in a multinational agricultural industries (remove) firm located in the countryside, the situation that kept me busy all over the past period.


I will be delighted if you could all come and stay here at my new rural house where we can enjoy horse riding in the vast flat expanse of grass around here. Also, you will have the opportunity to taste the delicious rustic cuisine meals.
I am looking forward to seeing you.
Best wishes,
Mohamed


Comments
The candidate has made a good attempt to accomplish the task response. Supporting points are fine. However, there are a few errors pertaining to grammar. Overall the letter meets the expectations.


Estimated Band Score: 7


Suggestions
1. Revise grammar.
2. Always proofread the task response after finishing it.
3. Keep practicing to improve your performance.

 

 

[shawi]

مستشاره الهجره في كندا اليوم تقول
clb 9
تعني 777 وفي الاستماع 8